NANCY'S CHEDDAR BISCUITS

NANCY'S CHEDDAR BISCUITS 

"I like to brush the biscuits with mustard before baking because it gives a tangy flavour, but this can be omitted. Keep in a tin for one week or in the fridge for two."

Dough: 

1/2 cup soft butter

2 and 1/2 cups grated old cheddar (I use Imperial Cheddar)

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon cayenne (or more to taste)

Optional: 1/2 cup crushed potato chips

Coating:

1/8 cup sesame seeds

3 tablespoons coarsely ground black pepper

2 tablespoons herbes de Provence

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard (brush on first if using)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a food processor or by hand, cream the butter until soft. Add the mustard and process until well-combined. 

In a medium bowl, combine flour, salt, cayenne and potato chips if using. Add to cheese mixture and combine just until dough holds together.

Divide into two, roll into cylinders about 1-2 inches in diameter. Roll in sesame mixture. Refrigerate to harden. Cut into 1/4 inch slices. 

Place on cookie sheet, brush with additional mustard and sprinkle with extra herbes as desired. Bake 12-15 minutes. Makes 60 to 80 1 and 1/2 inch biscuits.

BROWN SUGAR FUDGE

(My Adaptation of) MOM'S BROWN SUGAR FUDGE

Warning: this stuff is like crack. Seriously. I only make it when giving it as a gift or when I know others will be around to help me inhale it. Because I WILL eat an entire recipe over the course of a few days. This does not fit into my current fitness and nutrition program AT ALL but one of my son's teachers requested the recipe after I gave her some for Christmas. So here it is; proceed with caution! My mom, Christine Buckham, adapted this recipe from one for frosting when I was a kid, and I recently added the salt, taking into crazyville on the delicious scale.

(This is a small recipe and can be doubled). 

1/4 cup butter 

3/4 cup packed brown sugar

2 tablespoons of milk

1 cup sifted icing sugar

1 tsp vanilla
Around two teaspoons sea salt 

Optional: 3 tablespoons wheat germ (gives a fine crunchiness, though I prefer it without)

Bring butter, sugar and milk to a full boil on a medium-high heat. Reduce heat to medium low and allow to boil for four minutes, stirring frequently. 

Do not leave the stove - this boiling time is crucial and the sugar cannot be allowed to burn.

Remove from heat and stir the bubbles down. Add vanilla, sifted icing sugar and the wheat germ if using.

Stir and gently whip the fudge with a wooden spoon for a few minutes. When the fudge begins to harden onto the sides of the pot, scrape it into a low- sided dish or pan. 

Optional: My personal adaptation is to sprinkle an even, light layer of sea salt into the bottom of the pan before I pour in the fudge. The feedback I have received about this trick is that it makes the fudge even harder to stop eating! 

Cut into squares while still soft. Allow to cool. Share with friends before your pants become too tight.

CAPE BRETON OATCAKES

CAPE BRETON OATCAKES

3 cups rolled oats

3 cups all purpose flour (I use whole wheat)

1 cup granulated sugar (I use brown sugar)

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 cups butter

1/4 cup cold water

Optional: your choice of dried herbs for a savory touch. I like to add lavender and/or thyme.

Combine dry ingredients. Work in butter with fingers; stir in water. Dough should be crumbly and just barely hold together. Place it on a greased 18x12 inch jelly roll pan or baking sheet (I use a baking sheet). 

Spread evenly over pan and into corners. Use a rolling pin to make it flat, smooth and firm. With a greased knife, cut into two-inch squares. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes or until light brown. Let cool. Squares should snap apart easily along cut lines.

Makes 60 squares.

2013, Here I Come!

So. It's been a while since I posted. I think I mentioned last time I was having a difficult couple of months through the fall, and I really was. I had gotten off my fitness and nutrition program. I wasn't eating very well and I was drinking too much wine, too often. The existing challenges of motherhood and running a household, combined with my general lethargy and depression left me feeling like things were spiraling downward, and not within my power to turn around. Even the weather had its impact. It got colder and in turn I just wanted to eat sandwiches and drink hot mugs of things while sitting on my butt under a blanket by the fireplace, with a cat or two on my lap and a good book. It really seemed unfair that life had other plans for me. That my family needs me every minute of every day. That they couldn't just all start taking care of themselves with no warning. Sheesh.

I am a creative and sensitive individual and there are times when a combination of lack of self-care and just being overwhelmed by the details of living put me in this state of mental paralysis. Even while feeling it, though, I was thinking "suck it up, buttercup!" 

I have had to do this before. Pick myself up, dust myself off and take the steps required to rise above. To have fun anyway. To make better choices even if it means an annoying dose of self-discipline and no sugar in my coffee. And all this aside, I owe it to my family to be better than this. I owe it to myself.

So. With all the goings on of two little boys in two different schools, a working husband, a household to run and maintain, and the various neurotic dramas that crop up from time to time when you have, well, people around (boy does that part of life make me appreciate my amazing family)...I decided to reign it in.

I got in touch with my Jazzercise favourite, the amazing Vicki Waters. I have talked about Vicki before. Her classes lift me up and work me over and give me the physical release that is so important when I am carrying what I do. She has such a large following that I know I am not alone in feeling this way. Last spring, I did "The Program" with Vicki. This is separate from her Jazzercise classes. As a fitness and nutrition expert she has devised a seven week program that resets your body's metabolism through dietary change and exercise. As she says, "it's not new information." But it's about more than just making changes for the seven weeks as outlined in her plan. Each week we attend a meeting where she teaches us about the science behind this stuff. We weigh in while we're there, but are not allowed to at home. She wants us to move beyond the numbers on the scale and adopt a new way of thinking about how we fuel our bodies, and how we move them. 

I did well last spring. Lost some weight. And I knew I was on the brink of something important, which I will discuss in a moment. But I was SO excited about the number on that scale. I knew I had some work to do yet to get to where I really ought to be, but it took me years to get to where I was at that point. I was elated. 

And then, there was summer. Houseguests almost every week. Celebrations. Food, drinks, food, drinks, food, drinks, rinse, repeat. It was less of a falling off track than a careless leap into a landslide. I kept thinking "Oh, I'll get back on track next week. I'll pull out my program guidelines and start at week one again. No problem." But things were busy and that didn't happen. Then it was fall. And much of the weight had returned, and I was miserable, and that went on for a few months. As Christmas approached I knew it was time to get back on it. And beyond that, to make a more complete mental shift for the long-term. 

Vicki sent me back an email saying she had two programs lined up for the new year. One was to begin the day before our return from our vacation, and the second not until mid-February. I opted for the first one. While I had to miss the first meeting, I knew I couldn't put it off any longer.

When you sign up for The Program, you sign a contract. You agree to follow the food and exercise guidelines she gives you each week. And, if you don't have a partner, she connects you with one. I have been fortunate enough to find a new friend at my son's preschool. A mother to twins and a full-time doctor, Corrie has little time for herself and felt this was a good fit for her to make some positive change. So in we jumped. It's turned out to be such a good match!

We are both emotional eaters and with her at work all the time, my recipes and cooking tips have been a help to her. Her support and feedback have been consistent and devoted and it has made a huge difference to me. I feel accountable and valued and love that her scientific mind can follow my tangents about all of this stuff. I think our partnership will continue to be mutually beneficial even after we finish the final week.

We both struggle with the emotional eating. I mean, of course eating is emotional. We have to eat to live, and our first experiences with food are tied into being taken care of. It's pretty hard to separate the two - especially now that the tables are turned and we are taking care of our families - and I notice even the most rigid practitioners of the "clean eating" approach still post recipes for "comfort food" from time to time. With that in mind, I made this Italian Wedding Soup this weekend (with a few modifications) when she and her family came for dinner:http://freezeyourwayfit.blogspot.ca/2011/12/clean-eating-italian-wedding-soup.html?m=1

It was delicious!

Cellular communication. This is just one thing Vicki discusses at our meetings. What and how much you eat affects how your cells talk to each other. For real, people. I thought I was listening last spring, and I did take in a lot of what she said. But on this second round I am really getting into the macro and micro of what these lifestyle choices do for our bodies. More than that, I have become very focused on what this is all doing for my mind, and in turn for my whole freakin' life! I really do think it's that monumental a shift. Not just about getting rid of the muffin top, though that of course is a side effect I won't reject.

When I work out regularly and eat properly, I am reminded that I, ME, I am the one driving this vehicle. I have control over how I do things and how I respond to others. I have choices that can make or break the impact I make in this one life of mine. More than that, I can FEEL how my mind and body are connected, in a way that literally makes me smarter. Does that make
sense? It's hard for me to articulate what I mean because I am not a scientist. I am not sure I can describe the physiology of this mind-body connection.

Related to this is what a sense of empowerment and accomplishment and pride can do for one's sense of happiness and even to their decision-making processes every day. I am more myself and more sure of myself and hell, fitting into my skinny jeans doesn't hurt either. There is a fundamental way of BEING that comes out of this that can change you. Who you are may fundamentally be the same. It's what you DO, though, that really determines the course of your life and how you feel about it. Let me repeat Vicki's words of wisdom: "This is not new information." Yet it seems to be information people are fundamentally lacking. If everyone had this information, maybe we wouldn't be in the midst of an international obesity epidemic. But therein lies the rub: to really HAVE this information, you need to put into practice a different way of living. Because only then does it really start to make sense; to sink in as hard fact. So what comes first? The chicken or the egg? No wonder it's so hard to get people to make the change.

Adding to this are the automatic responses to proper exercise and food intake that allow my entire body to function better. From my muscles to my brain (technically a muscle as well, if i am not mistaken), I am drinking more water. Having fewer cravings. Making better decisions when cravings do arise because I understand the real, long-term consequences I will face otherwise (the wrath of Vicki aside, ha ha). 

Making the time IS hard. But so very worth it, and of so much benefit to my family as well. So, can we do this long-term? I think for the first while it can be a kind of two-steps-forward, one-step-back sort of thing. After the final week of The Program, life will continue. There will be celebrations, and libations, and dessert. Slowly, we can retrain ourselves to enjoy those times with a new kind of moderation. I think it will be kind of fun coming up with new recipes and rituals for those times when we do want to "partake." Movie nights, holiday meals etc. can all be
enjoyed, and done in a way that lightens the caloric load without getting ridiculously deprivational.

Will we fall off? Yup. But with focus we can train ourselves to hop back on quickly before we end up in a self-destructive avalanche.

This is changing what I want to feed my family, too. My husband is happier and feels better because he is eating cleaner, more nutritionally dense food. My kids are surprisingly compliant, most of the time. I am also reading "Wheat Belly" right now, and I have a feeling that by the time I finish it, I will have further motivation to make healthier adaptations in our diet.

That's all for today, but I am going to be aiming to post every Monday from now on - at minimum. The new year is full of great stuff which I will discuss next time! Unfortunately our three year-old stomped the laptop that holds our photos, so I will have to wait to post them. Have a lovely Monday and thank you for reading.

Please do leave comments! I would love to hear what you think about all of this. If you want to try Vicki's program or a Jazzercise class, she can be reached at vickiwaters@shaw.ca, or on her Vicki Waters Jazzercise page on Facebook.

Keep On Keepin' On...

Already it is November 17th! It is now almost 7:30 AM; Noah woke me at six again this morning, by screaming "MUMMY! MUMMY! MUMMY! MUMMMMMMMY!" repeatedly and at full volume from the other end of our hallway. Sigh. As our friend Sam likes to say, "You sleep enough when you're dead." Right.

Still lots happening all the time. Griffin is progressing with Kindergarten, working so hard to do a better job of listening and staying on task as he's had some issues with, well, not doing those things. He had his first playdate here the other day with a classmate and they had loads of fun ransacking his toy collection and sharing stories about cats and horses. Noah just trucks along happily most of the time at his morning preschool, though he has shown a stubborn side as well when it comes to taking instruction. What can I say...these apples don't fall far from their trees. According to my mom, when I was little, if it wasn't my idea I didn't want to do it...and their Dad certainly marches to his own drum. You can talk to Griffin until you're blue in the face. His hearing is fine but he has a true talent for simply tuning out. I swear he's wandering around in a whole other world in his head, building entire towns and putting out fires and probably hanging out with Super Mario while eating peanut butter toast. The trick with Noah, who is three, is finding the consequence he will respond to. Much of the time you can tell him "I have asked you not to throw your toys/jump on the couch/chase the kitten twice already. If you do it again I will take away your drawing board/you won't get chocolate milk after lunch (etc)." He just literally laughs in my face, while committing the crime again.

!!!

Raising two boys is exhausting. Perhaps I am too soft at times but I make up for it by yelling. I am horrified to find I am that hollering mom when they drive me over the edge. When I am not sleeping well, which seems to be usually these days, that is often. At the end of the day, when I am drifting off to sleep, my inner self invariably pipes up with something like "HEY! Did you HEAR the way you screeched at those children today? You are a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE PERSON!" Yes, really. Then I remember I forgot to switch over the laundry or turn on the dishwasher and it's all over. I end up getting up to fold towels and tiny pairs of socks and contemplate the things I should be doing differently.

At least I can say that even from this place of constant fatigue and anxiety (which is the place I end up when I am not doing regular, intense cardio and eating properly - more on that in a bit), I have been making some really good changes and have seen almost immediate results. When Griffin and I get tense and annoyed with one another I remind myself that I am the one who sets the tone. We were having a time of it in the tub the other night with neither of them listening and the volume of my instruction becoming increasingly loud and frustrated. As I pulled him out of the tub to help him dry off, I said "Griff, I think we need to take the mad-at-eachother, pick it up and smash it on the floor. Do you see it here right between us? Let's pick it up." He didn't even ask me what I meant. His hands came up to hold a kind of invisible ball. I said "You've got the bottom? I'll take the top. Got it? Okay, let's smash it on the floor. One, two three..." And together we picked it up and hurled it into smithereens. Then we smiled. Then Noah came out of the tub and started complaining about something. So I joined. Not mocking, but coming up with my own list of complaints in a really ridiculous, lispy voice. Then I told him not to laugh at me. He laughed. I laughed. Griffin laughed. We all felt so much better!

It can be a huge challenge from inside the full-time mom bubble to step outside of it to take stock; to manage to remind myself between the demands and cries and the general constant, spinning energy little boys are made of and putting out, that it is up to me to determine what happens next. I can change the course of events for all of us if I can just remember that my little boys are counting on me to do so. Even when they are annoying the living hell out of me and I haven't had time to shower or pee. I love my kids, so much. the early years weren't easy for me - I seriously had no reference point at all when it came to producing and caring for baby boys as one of three girls. I have regrets about how I handled things with my Griffin when Noah was a baby...I wasn't always patient and his feelings were hurt more than once. But the amazing thing is, they still love me. They forgive me and they trust me. And I am determined not to let them down. I am actually excited about our next phase together. Life is kind of fun, most of the time. And these kids are healthy, strong, inquisitive and creative guys. As a creative soul myself I know the adventures will just become more formidable from here.

On the topic of taking care of myself, I want to address this as a note to all moms. I have really been all over the spectrum in terms of self-care. I have been in a manic, work-out all the time and eat nothing but yogurt and salad kind of place, and I have been in a no work-outs, too-much-wine-too-much-of-the-time and just not eating well kind of place. I have been everywhere between the two, and the truth is very very simple: There is no magic pill, there is no crash diet, and no one is going to do it for me. When I don't take time to work out, eat properly and in proper amounts and get the sleep I need, I am a depressed, anxious mess. The sleep issue has a variety of contributing factors, obviously, but when I am getting my cardio it is so much less of an issue. Having slimmed down recently and put a few pounds back on, I know it's worth the work to feel better. It's not just about how I feel in my clothing, though that is certainly part of it. It's about a feeling of balance; about renewal and putting a little back into myself to counter all I put out.

Last week I went back to Jazzercise after almost four months away. I have missed Vicki and the community she's created so much (Seriously. Almost cried when I got there). After an awesome, fun workout, I stayed to chat. This is a woman with a huge following of people who admire her and request her guidance and support on a regular basis. And still, when I told her I had been having a rough time her eyes welled up and she commiserated with me a little and told me she's there if I need her. What a lift she always gives me. What a mentor. Always ready to extend herself and her amazing, positive energy. I guess Jazzercise is kind of like my church. If I can only get to it once a week (I am going to try to go on Saturdays as it's the only time that works right now), it will be enough for now. Big love to Vicki Waters and the Jazzercise community!

In addition to this I have decided to hit her program again (the one that worked for me in the spring)on my own, beginning on Monday. I am not spending the weekend eating cheesecake or anything but will have a glass of wine or two this evening and just not worry about much beyond planning for the week ahead. It won't be an easy week as the first of the seven week program is the most restrictive, but it will give me fast results and get me back on track. The trick will be making more of the guidelines permanent/long term changes so I can maintain my happy. My weight too, but mostly I just want my happy back. If you have questions about Vicki's program, she will be running more of them in the new year and you can contact her at vickiwaters@shaw.ca or find her Vicki Waters Jazzercise page on Facebook. If nothing else you should check out one of her classes here in Victoria. Killer fun!

Before I sign off I must share our newest family member with you. We have adopted the most beautiful, sweet little kitten! His name is Bruce, after our late, great friend and the designer of our home, Bruce Wilson. We have been calling him Brucey, and he is a love! Welcome, little furball! And apologies to our Sadie, who is disappointingly, utterly pissed off about the whole affair...

 

Balance Schmalance...

It's Saturday, October 27th. It's almost 7:30 and is still dark outside. The kids woke me at 6.

There are so many cozy, lovely things about the fall season. Drives through the country to admire the changing colours in our landscape. The harvest of late tomatoes, squash and pumpkins, apples and root vegetables. Cool weather giving cause for us to layer up in comfy sweaters and jeans and boots, scarves, mitts and hats at the ready for mornings kissed by Jack Frost. We had a wonderful field trip to a local park with Griffin's kindergarten class, where the theme was squirrels. There was a fantastic puppet show and a trek through the forest with different learning activities centred around how the animals gather food, build their nests and so on. Amazing. And another field trip with Noah's school to Oldfield Orchard, where there was a tractor wagon ride and fresh pressed appe cider and a giant pumpkin patch. Halloween is fast approaching with the need for this mom to pull together costumes for a three year-old lollipop and a five year-old zombie. We will make finger cookies and ghost candle holders and decorate pumpkins, and hit our neighbourhood community hall for their annual bonfire and haunted house party. Oh, and our cat Sadie recently brought me home a little friend: a golden-crowned Kinglet. He was stunned and hung around for long enough that I got a lovely picture of him, but he was fine and flew away shortly thereafter. I am such a bird nerd and will totally be getting a super-zoom lens for my camera, specifically so I can capture these little dinosaurs for my viewing enjoyment. We have been landscaping too! SO MUCH going on for us. It's really a good time, if a little busy.

But this fall I am feeling something else as well.

In the spring I did a health and fitness program and lost about 15 lbs. By June, I was feeling great and on my way to being in the best shape I've been in since I was a kid. I was proud of myself - it took serious commitment and lifestyle change to pull it off. A big part of my fitness program were regular Jazzercise classes with the lady who developed the program. She's been teaching them for over 30 years and I love the dancing. The stuff it does for my body is great, but moving to music is a rediscovery for me since I found her classes again about 18 months back.

Fast forward to our new home, in our new 'hood across town, with the kids both in school over here and suddenly my routine doesn't give me a chance to get to her classes. I have tried a few run by someone else closer to home, and they're alright, but they take place during the only time I have to really get things done around the house. Combine that with the physiological response I seem to be having to the fall weather - meaning I just want to take hot baths and eat comfort food and sleep, the last of which never actually happens - and I am a groggy, unmotivated, NOT adrenaline-charged shell of my former self.

In addition to all of this, my summer was chaos! Houseguests almost every weekend and a summer pattern of food, drinks, swimming, food, drinks, swimming. Rinse and repeat. It was loads of fun being with my family and friends - really, some of the best times I've had in ages. But I am back up almost ten pounds and after repeated attempts to get back on track I keep letting myself down. Not fitting in the workouts. Snacking in the evening. Not getting enough water. Craving carbs and sugar. Just not managing to find it within to pull out of this rut.

I have had enough! I am not going to let this Christmas season take me down! I need motivation, positivity. Consistency. I miss the joy I feel when I am working out regularly and intensely. As someone prone to bouts of minor depression I have found nothing rivals this as my ideal solution. Time to readdict myself to a good routine. Let's get real, here. I don't want to spend my life being overweight - neither a little nor a lot. But far beyond that is just how much HAPPIER I feel when I am fit and active. You know what they say: If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

So I don't exactly have a plan yet. But I can tell you I will be running again and getting to a Jazzercise class once in a while. I may have to clean my house at night when I am tired and just want to get in a hot tub with a book, but somehow running with a stroller gets old after five years. I am going to have to use that time when the kids are in school for my workouts. Yeah, might have a double jogger for sale if you're interested...And since I love to cook, it's really just an issue of making a meal plan and sticking to it each week where nutrition is concerned. My staples for evening snack cravings while I was on-track were kale chips or fat-free Greek yogurt. I ate a lot of roasted vegetables; bean and greens soups. Carrots and hummous. I can do all that again.

What do you think? How do you stay motivated to keep moving in the autumn, when often it's dark upon waking and dark when you eat your dinner? How do you fit it in if you're a busy Mom with kids? What do you do when the urge to fill your crock pot with potatoes, bacon and wine hits? And don't tell me to get up at 5 AM to fit in a workout before the kids wake up. I'm an insomniac and rarely get to sleep before midnight. So that ain't gonna happen. I'm serious.

I challenge you to respond creatively to my query. The response that makes me laugh the hardest will earn its author a fancy postcard, which I will personally inscribe and mail immediately upon receiving an address to mail it to. Seriously, I am good at postcards, and I have some excellent ones. I want more discussion on my blog. So tell me what you think I need to do to get my energy back and my hibernating stores off and you could be the lucky winner! 

 

Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving Monday and I am sitting in my favourite chair in our library, enjoying a pumpkin spice smoothie, thinking about the day ahead and all I have to be grateful for.

Usually my husband is gone for most of Thanksgiving, riding the Terra Nova up in Cowichan. It's a cross-country dirt bike race that finishes with a turkey dinner put on my some of the riders' families. The riders actually call it the "Aqua Nova" because torrential rains notoriously take over the event.

Usually, my birthday falls on Thanksgiving weekend as well, as I was born on a Thanksgiving Sunday. As you can imagine, between turkey dinners with our family, the race Tim participates in, the typically horrid weather and my birthday, this weekend each year is often a little too busy. My birthday always feels like an afterthought and I end up cooking a meal everyone expects, not because I want to but because I feel I should. Sometimes I feel myself a little too immersed in the chaos of it to think much about what I am thankful for. I do try to remain focused on gratitude regardless of the day or month...but ironically, Thanksgiving has been a challenge for me in recent years.

This October is different. The Terra Nova was postponed, due to dry weather. Translation - the longest Indian Summer in recent history. My birthday somehow edged its way to next weekend, and so here we are, home for a glorious, clear family weekend with a low-pressure turkey dinner already done and a new lawn to play on. We had only two guests this year, my Dad and Step-Mum, and the meal was simple and delicious. Yesterday, we took the kids out to our favourite section of The Galloping Goose in Methcosin with their bikes. While I did a 45 minute run, the boys rode with Tim. We had a lovely country drive there and back, ate leftovers for lunch, and played in our newly sodded yard in the afternoon sunshine.

Next weekend I will head to the big city to see my Mum and sister and celebrate my birthday. This weekend I feel grateful for so much, because I have had time to think about it without the household mania we are typically dealing with. My boys are growing up in leaps and bounds. It hasn't been a seamless transition for them into their new schools...my headstrong Griffin in particular is on a steep learning curve in regard to listening and following routines consistently. Noah has his first cold of the season. But they are happy and full of stories and they're learning so much, so fast. The most remarkable thing I've witnessed with them lately is a huge increase in their expression of gratitude. They are taking the time to really genuinely thank me for the things I do. It fills me up with happy.

Six o'clock in the morning: mist on the lake